Dear ISIS :: I Want Head (or “A Narrative Request”)


Hello. I’m the Great Western Devil.

I noticed some things about the two videos that you have posted to the Internet. May I ask a few questions? Would that be too much to ask? I’d really appreciate just a moment of your time.

As an individual who perpetually looks for the marketing spins that can be placed on a specific product, shared commodity, sentiment, or thought — I often find myself examining the media that is exported by groups of [assumed name-of-significance here].

Here are my inquires. Respond any time.
1. Why didn’t you show the beheading of the journalists? Media outlets stateside are working every hour to make you out to be some kind of all-encompassing thing. I think we can both agree you are the aggregate result increasingly poor foreign relations, a paradoxical coincidence with regard to prison releases, and reasonable saturation of your P1 demographic within broadcast region. Al-Q, back in the day? Showed the death. No one enjoyed it. Some journalist is going to have to report on that, many US people-of-power will watch that, the president will likely watch that. That needed to be as brutal as you wanted to make it. You had a microphone, and you intentionally dropped it. Twice. Why? The source video, each time, faded to black.

2. Your boots, twice, have only been tied past a few eyes. That’s a lot of sand out there. Do you want it in your boots? You’ve already told me that, wherever you’re recording from, is not far at all by foot from where your compound is — be that by foot or by driving path. But let’s face it, you’re either “in Syria” or north of Baghdad. Back to the point, do you know how much you project by not lacing those last laces? I wear boots like I was born in The Service. So do the people in the clips shown from previous ISIL media campaigns. You don’t. What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?

3. After the death, your hands have no blood on them. Your knife doesn’t either. It’s cool to see you look left-handed. Your knife isn’t left-handed. You’ve amassed huge sums of both equipment left post-war and gems that were there in the first place: why is the knife you choose to behead someone with a 5″ half-serrated knife I could buy at the knife shop on Myrtle Beach? Even the God-awful nightmare fuel of the recorded of tortures during the Serb/Croat war featured individuals with proper tools doing unspeakable things to other humans. Using a paring knife on a watermellon that bleeds will surely result in a lot of blood. You don’t have blood on your hands. Your knife is also bereft of blood with a body on the ground. Why.

4. Did you clean the heads before placing them on the adorably-predictable Guantanamo Orange? If not, may I ask why they are not bleeding red into a color where it would be quite obvious?

If you didn’t see the video, I’ll summarize it:

Bloodless Knife of the Revolution: Things about America. But I mean, fuck the West. But, America. Come’on.

Exceptional JournalistIt’s been hard to come to peace with this, but god damn it I tried. You know these words aren’t me. I didn’t say “I love you” nearly enough. I love you.

Bloodless Knife of the Revolution: More words. See what that guy said? He knows. We didn’t tell him to say that. But he did. He said, “Fuck you America.” El oh el. Ok. Here we go.

// implied action of taking individual to ground //
// fade out //
// fade in //
// head, severed at the jaw (no neck) on body // 

BKotR: yeah. fucked him up. here’s this dude //inset: (name) (country)// don’t be a dick and we won’t kill him too.

That’s a huge paraphrase. This assumes 110 years of prior knowledge in foreign intervention and knowledge of how to compact Sunni v. Shiite into “it’s really a family thing; cousins and shit” (and Kurds fit into the equation as “then everyone said, ‘fuck the Kurds'”). So back to the question. Why aren’t the heads bleeding out on the jumpsuits. You’re missing a solid opportunity for visual impact here. You’re also not the person killing these people. You also don’t lace your shoes up but the people shooting bullets do. You’re also holding the knife in your non-dominate hand. You also noticed you showed too much background in your last video: what thing, that you noticed, made you uncomfortable enough to shoot the next video with dirt blocking the horizon?

I want to know who you are because I want to know who the faux-left-handed guy is who is too lazy to lace his boots past a few eyes in the /sand/, holds a knife like someone who has no idea what they’re doing, holds that knife intentionally in the wrong hand, stars in a video where you are standing there — again with your boots laced like you’re walking to the corner to grab some PBR on a Sunday afternoon — after a beheading with /no/ blood on your knife or hands, bloodlessly severs heads at their jawline and not trach-joint with a /clean/ cut at the jaw versus the cut you’d expect from the 2″ of serrated in a serrated knife, and miraculously produces severed heads without blood seeping from them. Twice.

Maybe I’m wrong because I grew up not trusting the narrator.

But I feel like I’m being fed a really shitty story.

And, as an American, I’d really appreciate a lot more effort be placed into that narrative before the inevitable attack that this narrative is leading toward. On our land or theirs.

Thanks in advance.

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